wants and loves

First off, we had a lovely sunset today. That different kind of orange tint that's oh so delightful I can almost lick its deliciousness.

Second off, I need new pants. My size 0 GAP pants is loose already; suffice it to say that ALL of my office slacks needs to be overhauled. I've been having breathing problems, some shortness of breath, whenever I eat more than usual hence I've been cutting rice intake. The feeling's great (!!) albeit I didn't realize that I'd be needing to buy some new wardrobe.

Third off (this is what you get when you're a chickadora and you get to spend the whole afternoon, walking around town, ALONE), I think i'm fast becoming a semi-vegitarian. When I entered my suki meat shop (Kind's Meat) in Bando, my nose crinkled at the smell of raw meat; almost making me gag. I had to hurry buy my ration for the week and go out the door before i do gag. What I read in Eat, Pray, Love didn't help as well - "Eating meat is eating the fear of the animal on the moment of its death". So goodluck to me later on with my Adobo dinner.

So, to real business.

I never am one to plan ahead. I tried planning time and again and yet, almost always, something else happens to thwart me from my plans. And usually, that something is so much better than what I had anticipated. And so I choose to just be caught with the moment, and decide later on on my course of action when the moment forces me to decide. Well of course having this kind of attitude had put me in tight spots a number of times already. But once I get past the tight spots, the experience gets more exhilirating, more memorable. It's sort of like smelling the flowers while you walk about the garden. Enjoying the moment. Basking in in the present.

But don't get me wrong, time and again, I do feel the need and praticality of planning. With planning, you get to know where you're heading and what you need to do to get to where you want to go (not just in short trips but life in general). Hence, when the situation calls for it, I do plan.

My RFA will be up come end of April and every now and then, I thought of what I want to do should I get to be extended or if they decided to let me rest for a bit and have me packing my stuff for Manila.

Wants. On that field, I have a lot though. I have lots of it that I utter one of it almost every hour of my waking day (or even in my dreams haha). Some shallow, some so deep and so deeply ingrained that I can almost feel it oozing out of every pore of my body. For those wants (I'd call it heart's desires), I rarely share it for fear of spoiling it the moment I utter a word of it. There are times though when I wanted to shout these desires to the world; so then the world could conspire in making this desire come to fruition.

(whew, this blog's taking quite so long!) And here, i'm gonna share some of those shallow ones...

1. I want to learn a new language.

So then, what language?

French is the one language that I have often considered as like music to the ears. And I would love to learn it to feel its velvety texture on my lips, on my tongue, as I utter the musical notes, myself.

But France is not the one place that I'd like to go to. It's one of the places I want to go to but certainly not the first one.

I want to go to Italy. Really really really want to go to this place that I can almost feel the desire oozing out of me and smell it in my sweat. haha.

So I want to learn Italian. For starters, I just borrowed "Italian for Beginners" from the Noge Library this afternoon. Let's see how it develops...

2. I want to learn to cook gourmet food. But first, I have to have a big kitchen to work on. But then again, if you really want to learn, small kitchens wouldn't be a hindrance.

3. I want to learn how to bake. There's lots of stuff/gadgets available in 100yen...

4. I want to learn how to drive.

5. I want to go practice bikram yoga and go to the yoga center driving my own car. And then have some relaxing tea after, with a book at hand.

6. I want to take some time off from work and really work on doing something new; something pleasurable.

I want, I want, I want. This and more....