Pillow Talk on Class 95

This Tuesday night's "Pillow Talk", Yaz had Dr. John Gray (the bestselling author of "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus") in her studio.

It's so so so interesting to hear him talk that i can only gape with amazement (though im only hearing him speak) and nod & laugh at his smart funny talks. I will try to blog here some of tonight's interesting topics (though i would very much would have preferred to have recorded their talk as i know i wouldnt be able to wholly capture in here what Dr. Gray said as boy, boy, boy! there just are lots of things to think about and remember. He-really-makes-sense. But I will try real hard anyways).

Dr Gray says:

1. 90% of people who go to counselling are women. It appears that what women want really is just someone to listen about their woes and to show them that somebody cares for them and hence they're willing to pay just to have someone to listen to them.

2. Three most common misunderstandings between a man and a woman:
- when women talk of how their day went, sometimes it's just like letting off steam and getting things out their minds and what they just want, is to have someone to listen to them. Men though, upon hearing the women's woes, feel like they have a problem to solve so they cut in even while the woman is still talking and offer some solutions that sometimes women really doesnt need as what they need is just a listening ear and someone to talk to. (The hormone oxytosin was mentioned and in searching for what this hormone's about, i came about THIS yet another interesting write-up).
- men cope with stress by forgetting about their problems and just by being silent but women cope with stress by talking about it. So the problem is when men begin to be silent, women begin asking "what's bothering you?" and the like when all he really wants is to forget about it and so the guy starts not feeling good about it. (I cant remember now how the talk came to it, but then Dr. Gray mentioned that men feel good when they see a woman smile at something they had done. My comment - are all men really flirts?hehehe..joke only..a twisted interpretation, my comment is).
-when a man loves a woman he thinks of things that would make her happy. But in his vocabulary, it may only be two things that he did some time ago. Like men tend to think about big things to make his woman happy. But he doesnt understand that for women, it's the every day little things that really count. It's like for the guy, giving her a dozen roses at one time is like 24 points already but for the woman, it's just one point and the scoreboard goes back to zero almost every other day. So, for the guy to make the woman he loves feel loved, he has to make that "every day little effort".

One tip on resolving arguments to keep relationships: when you've been hurt, lie low (be quiet for a bit) and wait till you've cooled down as the tendency when you're hurt is that you're likely to hurt your partner back as your defense mechanism and it gets nasty from there.

There just are so many stuff Yaz and Dr. Gray has talked about that I would have liked to have written here but, alas, that's all that I can remember..hehehe..tsk!too bad..but still.. quite helpful eh?