Travel Bug Goes Extreme Sports

~just reposting here the article I wrote for our department's quarterly newsletter about the Canyoning and Rafting experience I had last July 5 and 6 at Fox Canyons, Minakami~

My friends and I initially planned to have a weekend rafting experience. But as the slot we got for rafting was only on a Sunday morning, we were forced to look up another activity as filler for our Saturday afternoon and hence booked for a canyoning activity - a hybrid sport that combines swimming and rock climbing with the thrills of rappelling and rafting (without the
raft!). Canyoning websites were not a help on my nerves though and I almost got cold feet as I donned on my double wetsuits, life vest and helmet. I can only gulp and heave a deep breathe as I (tried to) prepared myself from what lay ahead of me. And what happened was far beyond what I imagined.

The first few tasks of dodging boulders and stone chutes as we swam with hands stretched in front of us (to keep our elbows from hitting the rocks) were real easy and not enough to prepare me from the slider waterfall. At the top of the 20m waterfall, our guides oriented us that once we get into the whirlpool below, we should not try to stand but keep our feet up, stay on our backs in the water, and use the force of the water to walk across the wall below. Okay, now try keeping
that in mind with jarring nerves and giant butterflies on your stomach. But there’s no way but down and so down I must go. I was lowered by a rope attached to my carabiner in my harness for a couple of meters until I felt like I was one with the waterfall. And then wham! The next thing I knew, I was without a rope, hurtling down the waterfall into the whirlpool below. The “Wall Walk” later was real cool!!

The big slide was not the finale though as we still have to summon the risktakers deep within us as we coursed through yet more canyons and waterfalls in different positions. There’s the Abyss (“hands up, push off the ledge on the far side”), Superman-style (sliding on your belly with the
water, headfirst) or Goodbye-world-style (not the official name but just tagged by friends since you’re sliding on your back with the water, headfirst, with nary an idea where you’re heading
– which, by the way, is my favorite).

Really scary, yes indeed! Dangerous? During canyoning, it sure feels that way. But looking back, I think at some point, our guides may well have been exaggerating what for them is like an
everyday simple task. We were equipped with proper gears and guides are everywhere in every obstacle – one gives instructions, another secures you in your harness or helps you get positioned in your slide and yet another waits for you down below should you have difficulty swimming your way to “safety”.

Rafting the following day was an easier feat after the canyoning we had. But mind you, with the churning water tossing your raft around, and trying to keep yourself inside the raft whilst trying to paddle still needs some daredevil spirit. And yet again, the key here are the right gears and skilled guides.

Should I do it again, given the chance? You bet! Come join me! =P

Realize

my latest song craze.

Realize by Colbie Caillat
(and the video's uber cute too!! i was half afraid it'll end up as yet another "could have been". good thing it's not. *-* )

Take time to realize,
That your warmth is
Crashing down on in.
Take time to realize,
That I am on your side
Didn't I, Didn't I tell you.

But I can't spell it out for you,
No it's never gonna be that simple
No I can't spell it out for you

If you just realize what I just realized,
Then we'd be perfect for each other
and we'll never find another
Just realized what I just realized
we'd never have to wonder
if we missed out on each other now.

Take time to realize Oh-oh
I'm on your side
didn't I, didn't I tell you.
Take time to realize
This all can pass you by
Didn't I tell you

But I can't spell it out for you,
no it's never gonna be that simple
no I can't spell it out for you.

If you just realized what I just realized
then we'd be perfect for each other
then we'd never find another
Just realized what I just realized
we'd never have to wonder
if we missed out on each other now.

It's not always the same
no it's never the same
if you don't feel it too.
If you meet me half way
If you would meet me half way.
It could be the same for you.

If you just realize what I just realized
then we'd be perfect for each other
then we'd never find another
Just realize what I just realized
we'd never have to wonder
Just realize what I just realized
If you just realize what I just realized

missed out on each other now
missed out on each other now

realize realize realize realize oh-oh

no regrets

It was not a total waste of time and emotion after all, I think. I did learn some lessons and I did realize i'm a bit better now in handling my emotions and trying to get over it.

It was fun. We had fun. So I still am thanking you.

Grey's Anatomy, Season 1, episode 6

After much salestalk from Kitty and Zoey, I finally tried watching Grey's Anatomy.

And I got hooked! Fortunately, I was able to muster enough self-discipline and make use of today's holiday to force myself to clean up my house (finally!), cook myself lunch and dinner and do some work for the Optimizer in between episodes. Anyways, this episode is probably one of my favorites so far. (i'm still into the 1st episode of season 2)

And Meredith says....

"I don’t know why we have to put things off. But if I had to guess, I think it has a lot to do with fear – fear of failure, fear of pain, fear of rejection. Sometimes, the fear of just making a decision. Because what if you’re wrong? What if you’re making a mistake you cant undo? Whatever it is we’re afraid of, one thing holds true – that by the time the pain of not doing a thing gets worse than the fear of doing it, it could feel like we’re carrying around a giant tumor. He who hesitates is lost.

We sweep today’s possibility under tomorrow’s rug until we can't anymore; until we finally understand for ourselves, that knowing is better than wondering. That waking is better than sleeping. And that even the biggest failure, even the worst, most intractable mistake beats the hell out of never trying."

So Close - Analyzed

I was lying in bed facedown as I listened to So Close play in my laptop for the umpteenth time. And I wonder how it could be that when I first heard it, I almost brushed it off and now when after seeing the movie, I just couldn't get enough of it.

I could only think of this. That anybody, who has stood so close with the one they love (or falling in love with) and yet be so far in getting their love realized (let alone letting that other know about how you feel!) could really feel for the song.

Just as how Giselle felt as she watched Robert dance with Nancy when only moments ago, it was she who was in his arms.

So Close, yet so far.

Albeit though, what's so addicting with this song is that despite this bittersweet feeling, there's still that budding hope that you'll be so close to reaching that happy end, to realizing that dream, to having his arms around you.

That you'll go so far as you get so close.

So Close

yet another video blog..

Enchanted's "So Close"..

fell in love with it..

rantings

Relationships are funny. Falling in love is funny. So funny it could jerk out tears out of them ducts.

Two people could be talking face to face and yet still have some miscommunication. The same two people could be talking of one and the same subject and yet one could have no idea as to what the other is trying to say. Person # 1 could be saying one thing but Person #2 could be hearing another thing depending on what he wants to hear. Person # 1 could be saying one thing and yet feel the opposite of what he's saying. Person # 1 could be saying what he truly means to say but Person # 2 wanted to believe that Person # 1 was just saying the exact opposite of what he feels. Person # 1 may really feel one thing but then just lacks the courage to voice it out or act it out. Person # 1 may just be seeing things differently from how things really are. Person # 1 may have really seen the real thing but is just convincing himself it's not the real deal. Person # 1 may have really seen the real thing but is just so not interested to pry on that real deal. This hurts.

Or. One could look one thing and yet really feel differently. I've been told of this a number of times already...I have an expressive face and yet sometimes what's written on my face is so just not what I feel.

OK, back to rantings.

When do you draw the line of liking someone and loving someone?

Loving someone and letting that someone know about how you feel even though it may be a one-way street, is like standing naked in front of that other person. It's like you're stripping yourself bare and making yourself vulnerable in front of that other person. If only you could choose right. Fall for the right one. One who would understand how you feel.

And, is there any manual and on job training of loving someone? Just so you know what to do and what to say? Just so you know when to sail on? Just so you know how to make him feel loved? Just so you know how NOT to make him feel unloved or worse smothered with your love.

Do you have to give up feeling for someone even though you really haven't confirmed with that person yet how that person feels for you? Well, I guess, it only sums up to two: either you go and stand naked in front of that special person or you can just walk away knowing that you might be giving up something that could really be beautiful...

twists of fate

Whew! The day's been definitely full of twists and turns; one that's emotion-filled and would leave your head reeling and murky.

As my next forecasted project's schedule is still not fixed, it was decided that I have to go back to Manila for the mean time and be back here in Japan when we need to start the new project. This, if you can imagine, would create a big hassle and much complication for an overseas assignee especially when your hometown is an hour and half plane ride away from your workplace in Manila and that the possible interval between projects could only be one week. Coupled with this crazy arrangement was that my final workload in my current project is one which I find to be always a challenge everytime I get to design it. These made me really apprehensive as to what would be the best course of action. But what's weighing things down really is the fact that I'll be saying goodbye to those which I've grown fond of over the past year...

But fortunately, news travels fast and thanks to friends who helped in my adoption advertisements (^_^), I was transferred to another project which would serve as my transition project. An answered prayer, hopefully. =)

Anyways, today's hubbub ended with a yakitori dinner with Nagano-san, Kitty and Keitaro. My fave "Amo" (level with SL nga pala) advised us that we should take care of those younger than us and try to help mold them into being better Process engineers. Whew, a tall order it is as i've yet to scale a number of "mountains" to be a good Process engineer myself. But I sure do hope that even in my own small way, I could help with the molding..*_*

floating

For the first time since January, I was busy with work today. I was trying to hurry and get the P&IDs done so I could send them to our Manila office this evening and go home as early as I can as I haven't been able to start packing yet.

Around 8, I was nearly done with the finishing touches when BA pulled the chair of the desk beside me and told me that he has a big surprise for me.

Our additional unit got cancelled.

It seemed that both competing contractors' schedule proposal didn't fit with the Client's EPC plans so the additional unit would just have to be done FEED-EPC wise in three-months' time when the final contractor has been decided already.

Hence, leaving me a floating engineer for now. I wonder what lies for me come Monday. woohoo quite scary. Will I be going back to Pinas in a few weeks' time?

Oh well, for now though, I just have to enjoy my friends' company on our Kansai Area trip. So looking forward to this one....

on sakura

Much as I tried to wake up early to have a leisurely stroll at sakura-dori in MM21 (and perhaps have a quick bite whilst seated beneath one of them sakura trees), I was only able to go out my flat at 8:40am. But it's not too bad I think since it's a few minutes earlier than usual. Hence, I still had my morning walk at Sakura dori.

Ooooohmmmm!! sakura! i so love them. They feel almost like heaven (for me at least).

The Greatest Love of All

Was listening to Lea's version of this song; bringing back childhood memories and a teeny weeny panghihinayang that my parents and I didn't have a record of how I sang this song back then. Anyways, I just realized again how beautiful this song is....
------
I believe that children are our future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children's laughter
remind us how we used to be

Everybody's searching for a hero
People need someone to look up to
I never found anyone who fulfilled my needs
A lonely place to be
And so I learned to depend on me
I decided long ago,
never to walk in anyone's shadows
If I fail, if I succeed
At least I lived as I believe
No matter what they take from me
They can't take away my dignity

Because the greatest love of all
Is happening to me
I found the greatest love of all
Inside of me
The greatest love of all
Is easy to achieve
Learning to love yourself
It is the greatest love of all

I believe that children are our future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside
Give them a sense of pride to make it easier
Let the children's laughter
remind us how we used to be

I decided long ago,
never to walk in anyone's shadows
If I fail, if I succeed
At least I lived as I believe
No matter what they take from me
They can't take away my dignity

Because the greatest love of all
Is happening to me
I found the greatest love of all
Inside of me
The greatest love of all
Is easy to achieve
Learning to love yourself
It is the greatest love of all

And if by chance,
that special place
That you've been dreaming of
Leads you to a lonely place
Find your strength in love

Rainy days and Junes

I hate Junes.

It always is rainy in June; be it in the Philippines, Singapore or Japan. And somehow, the drizzle outside gets its way inside; the gloom inside, a reflection of the outside....or is it the other way around?

The skies last week were lovely in that I keep on looking outside and kept on blabbering what a romantic and happy sky it was. And yes, somehow, those skies were reflections of what were inside.

But this week, or at least late this week, 'tis somewhat different....

By the minute, it was getting darker outside as it was on the inside. No, it seemed that outside was a brighter mirror image compared to the inside. And to point the comparison out loud in a trying-to-be-happy-but-definitely-sad-voice just to ease the tension did not help in keeping my emotions in tight rein (hidoi yo...). Rather, it added to the burning in my eyes. Good thing I can still turn away to hide. But alas, I think I was not able to hide.

Later, somehow, everybody seems nicer. Everybody seemed bouyant. A bouyancy that is so fake it makes you want to cry some more. And you can see that on everybody's eyes is some shadow that everybody tries to quell and shut in tight.

I hate Junes. ........

I know though that I should just think of the positive things that this outset has created....
...and think that on a June, I was conceived. Now, with that in my mind, I-should-love-Junes.

It still is dark outside. But at least now, I could see colors in it... hinting of a sunshiny tomorrow....

--------
This bleak tidings per se is a shock in itself. But it was truly a twofold shock for me. I feel like i've been doused with a bucketful of cold freezing water... with my skin all bumpy. Cause how come just when I thought of something inconceivable last night, that very inconceivable thing is in our midst today.... leaving some part of me thinking that had I only not thought about it, there might be some chance that we wouldnt have this. A friend said that if my mindpower is that strong, then I should work on thinking that everything will work out right and that it is for the best.

Oh how I truly hope and pray that it be so....

Omohide Poro poro (Only yesterday)

It sounded like a song my grandmother would sing to me but I like the lyrics...and the setting...

Some say love, it is a river
that drowns the tender reed
Some say love, it is a razor
that leaves your soul to bleed
Some say love, it is a hunger
an endless aching need.
I say love, it is a flower
and you its only seed.

It's the heart, afraid of breaking
that never learns to dance
It's the dream, afraid of waking
that never takes a chance.
It's the one who won't be taken
who cannot seem to give.
And the soul, afraid of dyin'
that never learns to live

When the night has been too lonely
and the road has been too long
and you think that love is only
for the lucky and the strong
Just remember in the winter
far beneath the bitter snows
lies the seed, that with the sun's love
in the spring becomes the rose....

My Girl

My favorite scene........

Yoo Rin was on the elevator on her way down whilst Gong Chan was waiting for the same lift.

Opening and closing his cp with Yoo rin's prank picture as screensaver whilst saying in an agonized half-whisper:

"I'll let her go"

"I won't let her go"

"I have to let her go"

"I can't let her go"

Hearing the lift's "ding", he put down his cellphone and with head still bent, said
"I can let her go".

Raising his head and seeing Yoorin beyond the lift's glass doors,
"I don't...want to let her go."

thoughts from "Long Vacation"

- "if you're unhappy being single, how can you be happy when you're with someone?"
so i guess you have to be really happy as an individual and not rely your happiness on somebody else..cause if you haven't found happiness while being single, more likely you couldn't find happiness neither as a partner..

- "if you like it, if you really love it, you have to live through it even during painful times"
loving something/someone doesn't guarantee that you'll be happy always. pain and suffering always comes with loving. so if you really love someone, you have to fight for it, never letting go and see your love to the very end even though it hurts. there's no place for escapism nor cowardice if you truly love someone...